Eggs Aren't Cheap You Know?! pt. 3

Eggs Aren’t Cheap You Know?! Part 3

Let’s look at another prospective of dating:

*What do you think of the theory of not dating, but allowing God to tell you who you will marry? Is there scripture to support that?

     I do not know of scripture that supports that. I guess they could look at Adam and Eve or Ruth and Broas, but Ruth was chosen because of her work. For example, she went in his room and laid at his feet (okay do not take this out of context, sneak into someone’s house and lay at their feet…your going to jail). Ruth and Broas didn’t just up and get married (to read Ruth’s situation refer to Ruth 2-4 Chapters).

     If a person just showed up, how would that work? You don’t just pick someone. If the Holy Ghost told one person why wouldn’t He tell the other? God said it’s not good for man to be alone. With dating then a relationship, you find out a persons back ground, you see them at their best, and worst. Churches should talk about sex and relationships more (side note: that is actually another article I’m working on). I also do not believe in the theory of there being one person for someone else. What if that person dies? I’m sure God wouldn’t want me to be alone. I believe it’s a parade, God shows and brings people through your path way and you choose.

Female, 26, Married

     I wouldn’t do it (date multiple guys at once). Why; I believe dating has purpose and if I’m dating multiple people I’m not fulfilling that purpose. What is the purpose? The purpose is to find your potential spouse. If I’m dating multiple guys I may start comparing and I could miss out on the right person. Secondly, people could get hurt.

      If I was dating and he was dating other women, I would want him to tell me. By him telling me, it would help me protect my emotions because there is a chance that we may not end up together.

     I do not believe in dating just because (this is referring to going out with just anyone not because you actually like them or see potential). For my husband and I’s case, The Lord spoke to him about dating and he felt since God wanted him to date He must have had someone in mind. The Lord put me on his heart so he prayed for about 9 months before asking me to date. I didn’t hear that from God so I just stepped out into the courtship and over time I believed he was my husband.

Do you believe we have choices or there are specific people we are meant to be with?

     Both, I believe God makes the perfect mate. For example, I believe my husband is the perfect will of God for me. If for some reason my now husband would have gotten on the wrong track from God’s Will, God gives back up plans. Look at Adam. He was created to not sin, but live in this world. He sinned, the back up plan was Jesus (refer to Genesis in The Bible for Adam’s situation and any of the four gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, John for Jesus’s).

As far as any Christians who do not believe in dating at all they just get married, do you know of scriptures to support this?

No….if you find a scripture please let me know.

Male, 30, single

I think it’s normal to date multiple people. I wouldn’t want to know if she was dating multiple people, but I would respect her if she told me. Honestly though, she wouldn’t have to tell me because we do not have any titles. *This was his over all answer…short and sweet.

Summary:

     So there you have it. Over all from what I gather, it seems that the majority of the people I asked are fine with dating more than one person (not just to be dating and getting a free meal or buying one), but to see what potential is out there. I’m not trying to solve all of the questions of dating in one small article, but I at least wanted to spark interest and see how some people view something that we as people do over all so frequently. We are living in a time where divorce seems to be almost a norm, some people are bitter over past relationships, and some people think marriage is a joke. What about dating? If we date wiser, maybe we can have better marriages and less baggage to carry into future relationships.  You may see yourself in one of the people I interviewed or not. No one is asking you to model yourself after one of those interviewed, but I at least wanted to provide a few prospective to hopefully help myself and others understand dating a little bit better. There is always room to grow.                                                        

    Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You…WhyKnot?!

                                                                         V. Curls

                                                                     www.wellwhyknot.blogspot.com

Eggs Aren't Cheap You Know?! PT.2

Eggs aren’t Cheap You Know?! (part 2)

     This part of the article starts the interview section and a few of the example questions. A few questions were altered depending on the person’s unique situation:

   

    1.)    “If and when you were dating, how did you feel about dating multiple people and would/did you tell all of the people were dating others?”

    2.)    Would you want the people you’re dating to tell you?

   3.)    What is the point in dating multiple people (as long as you’re not in a relationship)?

*Their replies were compressed into paragraph form according to how they answered.

Male, age: 22, Status: in a relationship

“I would date others and I would tell them because I wouldn’t want secrets.” If it was the other way around (her dating multiple men) I would want her to tell me, but she doesn’t have to. Even if we were getting serious (as in liking each other enough to turn it into a real relationship) I would be okay with her dating others because I’m not insecure. If she chose another man she was dating instead of me I would be disappointed, but not mad. I wouldn’t put all of my eggs in one basket. If one of the girls and I entered into a relationship I would still talk to the other girls as friends only.

At this point I asked him, “wouldn’t talking to the other girls as friends be temptation to cheat?”

His reply: No, you have to trust each other or not be together. Besides, women are sneaky. They will only tell you half of the story. Men tell women everything because women get over things better than men.

Female, age: 22, Single

“I believe in dating multiple guys if I’m just testing waters, but I wouldn’t tell the other guys unless I felt it was getting serious. I would want him to tell me if we were getting serious, but if we are casually dating I would not want to know. The point of dating multiple people is to test waters because you never know who you may or may not like. It all depends on your definition of dating. Courting is getting to know someone, in society now it almost seems like dating is sometimes based on sex, but getting to know someone is foreign. I absolutely do not believe sex should be with dating, but for marriage. You have to renew your mind in The Word (Bible) to fight against what the flesh desires.” I do believe Christians should date though ( just without sex).

Do you believe there is a specific person for you?

I believe we have choices and we should pray to God. He probably has set aside someone who matches up better with what we want, but it’s important to pray because people can be deceived.

Male, age: 33, Married

“If you like each other you shouldn’t be talking to anyone else. You should know by talking if it will grow into anything more. I am okay with her talking to other men, but I would want her to tell me that she is exploring other options. I would tell her. I took a chance on love (he only dated the woman he is now married to). No one else was on her level at the time.

What if there were other women on her level, would you have dated them?

I would have kept dating the lady I started with…(looked a little confused). I would have to ask God because that is too hard.

Female, age: 32, relationship

“I agree with dating multiple people because when you’re dating it’s not a relationship, there isn’t a full commitment. Dating is to figure out what you want like being in a candy store. You do not know what you want if your with one person. Males do not see it as a big deal, at the end of the day. I do not cancel out options, but once you have an official title begins there are rules.

Yes, I would tell a guy if I was dating (courting) other men because I would want to be honest. I wouldn’t want someone to feel they are the only one if they aren’t. I wouldn’t want to tell them because you take a chance of losing someone, but I would. A person may need to set rules in dating too (according to that couple).

If he was dating multiple people I would want him to tell me. Women are emotional beings so we need to know so that we will know how to react.

Stay tuned for part 3’s article, with more and different dating questions.

                      Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You…WhyKnot?!

                                                                         V. Curls

                                                                     www.wellwhyknot.blogspot.com

I want to but...

So I was training a lady on something and in the mist I commented on her cute New York shirt. I said "oh you've been to New York?" She looked up and said "No, but I wish I could." I said you can.

The point:
She said she hasn't gone because she doesn't have anyone to go with. I had a relative say the same thing about traveling.

My point:
Traveling is a privilege for sure,but you do not have to be bathing in cash to go if your good at managing your money. I would also say you do not have to wait on people to pack a bag.

Do not get me wrong, it is SAFER to travel with someone especially as a woman. If I travel alone it's to close states or somewhere where I know people, but even then I let people know what's going on I trust.

It's also cheaper to travel with others usually. However, make sure you choose wisely those you travel with. I have some friends I care about, but would not want to be on a cruise with.

Picking a travel buddy:
1.) make sure you all are on one accord with your expectations & what you plan to do.
2.) you both have saved up & the person is reliable (will not accidentally leave their wallet)...
3.) you trust each other
4.) they're positive (my God, no one wants a major complainer on a trip!).
5.) you know each other well. I know sometimes a person can be brought that is xoxo's best friend, but this is your trip too so if you need to ask xoxo about his or her friend's attitude and such.

Traveling alone:
I am not telling anyone to do this, that is your choice. If you do:
1. Have your destination and places mapped out by looking up/booking locations in advance.
2.)take a gps and map (gps can sometimes be wrong).
3.) let loved ones know
4.) be careful about posting your where a bouts on the net especial if no one stayed to watch your stuff.
5.) be organized with numbers, addresses, money, etc

There are probably plenty other things to post and please do. My point is there is nothing wrong with not only being a live, but thriving in life. If your thriving means never leaving your state...do you, but for others evaluate, pray, etc, just make sure your not filled with "what if's," due to fear.

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You...WhyKnot?!

V. Curls

Salsa Dancing and you!

There is another event by Kingdom Curls (a natural hair organization that started in MS, but supports support from other states) coming up in the Jackson,MS area.

Benefit: it's something different besides the usual meet ups (they're cool too though). It's also something to get people out of their comfort zone as far as dancing, salsa, and mingling.

Yes there will be a give away! Men, and women invited...no pets :)

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You...WhyKnot?!
V.Curls

My wet twist outs (1.)

These are instructions to one of my wet twist outs.

Duration:Depends on your length and texture (detangling,thickness,texture). I would say about 3 hours not including drying.

How long will it last: I've stretched a twist out, out for 2wks, but I added Shea butter. At least a week if you remember to re twist.

Who can do this: relaxed, natural, & dogs Jk (you better not try that on an animal 👎).


With a wet twist out you are going to have shrinkage, but more length verses a wash and go. Also, you curls,coils, etc will be more defined and result in more of a wave or crinkle depending on your natural hair texture and twist size.

My hair is: cotton soft (softer in the back) I do not really go by "hair type,"but if it helps someone I would be a mix of 4a or B, my hair is a few inches above my bra buckle when pulled straight so depending on your length, your hair in a twist out may look different.

1.) wash or co wash (your choice).

2.) Sometimes I was my hair in twist to keep more tangles at bay.Your choice.

3.) I take my detangler leave in and what ever product I want to use that day (in this case it's baby butter creme). Honestly, you can try a product of your choice as long as its thick enough to coat the hair and add moisture.

4.) add detangler, detangle, add product.

5.) Twist...the only part of my hair I part is the front depending on if I want a part of my hair to be on one side.

6.)Allow to FULLY air dry...towels are not your friend unless you want to look like a Pokemon Character. At the dollar store you can find a microfiber head wrap I use that to help dry my hair. You can use a diffuser, but I like the softness air drying leaves in the hair.

7.) I like to untwist starting from the back and style the front last. I some times use a oil to take down with to add shine.

Lastly: After the hair is all un twisted I pull twist apart. *The more pieces you pull apart the risk you take on adding fizz. I pull enough to achieve the look I want and fluff (big hair fan).
At night re twist your hair.

I hope this helps someone. Questions feel free to post on the blog.

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You...WhyKnot?!

V.Curls

Silly Billy's (Jackson,MS)

This is a store that all about fun,funky, fashions. It is a re sale shop that is in Jackson,MS and March 1st they will be located at 534 Mitchell Avenue. For more info call 601 672 6693
I asked them (Randy with the locs and Rodale) to describe their fits of the night.
Randy Said: we are modeling the store. We like anything that shakes,shimmy, and shines.
Rodale said:I'm wearing me, as in his fit reflects how he felt that day. He also said more people should dress like "me," meaning you, how you feel that day.

I bought a blazer from their old location (Fondern District of Jackson,MS) and I must say it is one of my favorite blazers because its cute, unique looking,....oh and cheap (under $10).

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You...WhyKnot?!

V.Curls
.

Run way of love hosted by Vivica Fox

Run way of love was a fashion show put on my Ladies of Legac-e in Jackson ,MS.
Let's get to the points:
Pros:
1.)Great set up, it was at the union train station.
2.)security
3.)VIP seating, wine, food, photography, you could meet Vivica who was quite cool.
4.)Great networking
5.)great cause, Ladies of Legac-e are big helps for the community and people especially women how have fallen on hard times.

Cons
1.) I was confused on the prices of the tickets...if I pay a certain amount, it's not fair for other ppl to all of a sudden get it cheap. If I'm wrong please explain this to me & I will change this.
2.)long walk to bathroom

So as you can see over all it was a great event. I wanted to share this with you so if you are in the Jackson Area you will know events do happen...staying in the house every weekend is not the biz.

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better you...WhyKnot?!
V.Curls

All of the lights?!

So as we all know...fashion repeats its self more than anything it seems. A twist is usually added, but it's clothing styles from another decade. How do you feel about Neon Colors and "plastic," looks (didn't Missy Elliot already do this on Supa Duper Fly)?Anyway, the items on here are all at Target.

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You... WhyKnot?!
V.Curls

Jason Wu at Target

I'm sure you've heard of Jason Wu at least mentioned if your a fan of The First Lady's (Mrs. Obama's) style. One of the designers that helped contribute to a few of her awesome-tastic pieces of clothing is....you guessed it, Jason Wu.

What does this mean for you?

For one, if your ready to step your corporate diva or even your cute and sophisticated side up in this new year,stopping by Target may not hurt.

Pros
1.) The clothes are youthful looking, but mature. My mother bought a top ( it will be the last pic shown).
2.)The designs are a modern twist of old fashion styles. What I mean is I feel like I've seen styles like this before, but they're still new and fresh looking.
3.) More Affordable vs. high end stores.

Cons
1.) If your older like fine wine, some of the dresses may be a bit short for your taste (depends on how it's made).
2.)Price: they are cheaper than high end stores, but I wouldn't call them cheap. A blouse can be 26.00 and a dress could be 44, so it's all about what you are willing to spend.
3.)The collection is for a limited time, so I'll post the pics and get out of your way.☺

Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You...WhyKnot?!
V.Curls

Eggs Aren't Cheap You Know!

     Dating has always been an interesting subject to me. There are so many dating shows about finding “love,” like Tough Love, Millionaire Match Maker, Why am I still Single, etc (love is in prentices

because people have different views on what love is, which is a whole other blog). If I’m not hearing about it on television, books, or on radio shows; I have enough guy/girl friends and co-workers talking about their dating ups and downs to last me for a while. One subject I hear very little on is the rules of dating. Now the above shows do go over their own particular rules, but everyone’s isn’t the same. Keep in mind I’m talking about actual dating or as the old school calls it “courting,” (not a relationship or anything extra).

     

     Another term (we the younger generation seems to use) instead of dating is “talking to someone.” Now yes, you can be conversing with someone on a friendly level, but when I type “talking,” I’m referring to conversing in a since of liking each other and going out together or arriving at that point next. One of many things I’ve noticed from conversing with different people is that sometimes the female maybe dating a guy and while doing so she thinks they have progressed into a relationship or it should be at that point. However, in the guy’s mind she is one of the many girls he is just…dating or “talking to...” and that my dear can sometimes lead into trouble especially if he or she is treated as if it’s a relationship…there just isn’t a title.

    

     So think about the above statement I made. The woman (in some cases the man) thinking they are the only person being dated although they are not in an official relationship. Should you tell them they aren’t the only person you date? Do you really owe them that or should that be an understood situation? Would you want to know? Well apparently it isn’t an understood situation to everyone. What made me type this article was a particular experience I had.

  

        Long story short, I was talking to two great guys that in my opinion had really good boyfriend material. I just assumed that I wasn’t the only lady they were dating. We were not in a relationship and it was still the “I’m getting to know you stage”, so I figured a relationship wasn’t on the menu that early anyway. As a little time went on I became concern since I could tell both really liked me and I liked them too (yikes, one of them had to go). As a result, I talked with each guy about me still talking to and willing to date other guys since I wasn’t in an official relationship. Shockley, I was the only lady (they both claim) they were talking to at the time and both wanted to be the only guy I was talking to, even though it wasn’t an official relationship.

      

      Well that situation was handled peacefully, but it made me think. How do other people handle situations like this? I’ve heard the phrase “putting all of your eggs in one basket,”and I think that would count in a dating situation. I decided to interview different genders and age groups to see how they viewed putting all of their eggs in one basket and their views of dating in general. Stay tuned for part 2 to read the interviews and summary of my research study.

                                   thethinkingblog.com  (picture of couched ppl)                                                                                                      caribdirect.com

                                                                                        Be Fierce, Be Fine, Better You…WhyKnot?!

                                                                         V. Curls